Sarah Boon

Spoilers and TW: Suicide

‘I Swear’ was different. 

Often, when it comes to media representation of neurodivergence, there’s a lot left to be desired. Usually, it is based on misinformed and outdated tropes that end up mocking people for their neurodivergence and is created for a neurotypical gaze. Media created for the neurotypical gaze seeks approval from a general audience, which is designed to comfort their existing biases against neurodivergent people rather than challenging them head-on towards neurodivergent acceptance.

Based on a true story, the film starts in 1980s Scotland and follows a young John Davidson starting secondary school, where a variety of tics start to appear. Quickly, we see how the world around him responds harshly to his differences. In School, he becomes a victim of continuous bullying with other students mocking his tics, which sometimes led to fights. He was also misunderstood by his teachers, who automatically took a behavioural approach to his tics, including corporal punishment. Today, it is illegal to use corporal punishment in UK schools, but back when John was in school, it wasn’t. Teachers at John’s school assumed without question that he was in full control of his tics and speech and that physical punishment would work to stop them and make him “act normally”. 

Those who have studied psychology or are well-versed in neurodivergent advocacy will be familiar with behaviourism, which describes the approach John was subjected to. Many schools are still embedded in behaviourism, where what is perceived as “good behaviour” is rewarded and what is seen as “bad behaviour” is punished. For neurodivergent people, our differences that we cannot help or change are frequently seen as “bad behaviour”, leading to some of us being punished for our disabilities rather than accommodated for, as John was. Some of the controversial therapies that have targeted neurodivergent people have come from behaviourism. E.g. Applied Behavioural Analysis (ABA) is used against autistic people. Often, neurodivergence in Western countries has been viewed as a problem to be fixed, overriding the need to accept natural variations of human differences (more on that later!). 

John’s parents also took a behavioural approach to his tics by making him sit in front of the fireplace during meal times, as he couldn’t control his tics when eating. Rather than finding a way, he could still be included in family meals when he had tics. His dad also became very angry at him for his tics, especially when they impacted John’s performance at a football trial. Before his tics, he was seen as a skilful goalie with the potential of going professional. However, during the trial, his hands were still injured from the corporal punishment at school, and he had significant tics, which meant the football scout wasn’t able to see John’s full talent on the day. Personally, it was a stark reminder of the various opportunities I missed out on over the years, in part due to my neurodivergence being misunderstood.   

Later on, when John’s parents separated, he blamed himself for his tics and the impact it was having on his parents’ relationship (despite other issues in their relationship being clear earlier in the film). His mother does not give a verbal response to his comment. By this time, the low self-esteem had kicked in for John for not being able to act and fit in “normally”. Something all too familiar for many neurodivergent people, including myself. We see how these pressures that neurodivergent people face can intensify mental suffering, and for John, lead to a suicide attempt. 

The film then jumps from his teens to his twenties, where we learn that John now has a Tourette’s Syndrome diagnosis and that he is taking medication to try and stop the tics. Although it reduced some of them and their intensity, they are still a regular occurrence for John. It has also had an impact on his life, as he hasn’t been able to do things like move out, travel and work yet, like his siblings and peers have. His mother is still unaccepting of his differences and Tourette’s, and while shopping, he bumps into an old friend who invites him over to his family’s home for dinner. 

That is where John meets his friend’s mum, Dottie, for the first time. Dottie appears to be the first person to fully accept his differences and tics and makes it clear that she doesn’t want him apologising constantly for his tics as he can’t help them. Something John felt he always had to do before. It eventually leads to John moving into Dottie’s home, where he is better accepted and understood. With Dottie’s acceptance, he also came off his medication, due to side effects and was not judged for then having more tics, as he was in his family’s home.  

While in public places, though, John still faces ableism for his differences. When attempting to go on a night out, one tic led to him accidentally knocking out somebody’s drink. This misunderstanding escalates to physical violence, and John faces police brutality. And not for the first time. Again, a common experience that many neurodivergent people have faced with police when their neurodivergence isn’t understood. 

As Dottie gets to know John better, she helps him find ways to make steps forward in his life that he wants, but doesn’t feel possible to him due to Tourette’s. She supports him in finding a job with an understanding employer and finding his first home. Things he didn’t believe were possible but were able to happen in accepting environments. Again, it reminded me of the times I had struggled in job recruitment processes as a neurodivergent person, where my ability was not truly being assessed, but rather my ability to perform social norms.  

John’s boss Tommy then comes to the realisation that somebody having Tourette’s isn’t the biggest problem, but people not knowing and not accepting Tourette’s is. This paradigm shift in how neurodivergence is viewed in the film is transformative in the narrative that exists around John. Tommy utilised this narrative when John was on trial for the incident during the night out, which helped contribute to his acquittal. Tommy also encourages John to get involved with advocacy and educating people about Tourette’s. Something John doesn’t take up until years later, and after Tommy has passed away. John is then also promoted at his work to fill Tommy’s role, something he is ecstatic about and didn’t believe could be possible before, due to how he was treated previously for having Tourette’s. 

Towards the end of the film, we see John actively engage in advocacy through supporting parents, younger people with Tourette’s and public services, which led to him being awarded an MBE. It is only years after his advocacy work and receiving his MBE that his mother apologises for her mistakes and misunderstanding him. 

So why is this story vital for neurodivergent acceptance? 

It shows the harm and trauma caused by trying to force neurodivergent people into being normal or acting that way. This is often the default approach, and we need to move beyond this, something that ‘I Swear’ demonstrates well. But not only does it expose what’s wrong with marginalising neurodivergent people, but also how powerful and transformative acceptance can be for our quality of life and self-worth. For myself, I have only managed to be content with my life by accepting my differences rather than constantly giving in to the pressures of trying to fit in and be “normal”. Although I don’t have Tourette’s, I still found John’s struggles of being a neurodivergent person trying to navigate the world relatable.

Films like ‘I Swear’ show us all how it is possible to make our world a better place for neurodivergent people, and even when our neurodivergence may still bring along challenges that we continue to face daily. 

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